The Mother I Thought I’d Be vs. The Mother I Became

Expectation shatters and that’s where the real becoming begins

We all enter motherhood with quiet expectations ... some we inherited, some we absorbed from the world, some we created to feel in control. I thought I’d be patient. I thought breastfeeding would feel instinctual. I thought love would override fear. I thought I’d slip into motherhood the way a hand fits a glove.

But nothing fit. Not right away. Not all at once.

Instead, I was tired, overstimulated, and second-guessing everything. I loved my baby immensely, yet I grieved the version of me who existed before. I felt guilty for missing her, but the truth is, grief and love can coexist.

The mother I became wasn’t weaker than the one I imagined ... she was forged in truth, not fantasy. She learned by breaking. She softened by surviving. She grew by letting go of who she “should” be and embracing who she actually was in the messy middle.

Expectations give way to evolution. That’s where motherhood really starts.

Want more stories like this? My memoir, The Alchemy of Motherhood, dives deep into the identity shift no one prepares us for